This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
