Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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