Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
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Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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