none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
