We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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