I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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