Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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