It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
