Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
