your room smells of hookers.
And success
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
