I cockslap morals
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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