if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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