Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize