How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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