I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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