i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
