What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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