the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Send help, water and tortillas.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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