when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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