Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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