i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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