I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
