apparently the secret to your success is patron
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
