My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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