I want to stick my p in your. b.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
