Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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