There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
