Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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