I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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