ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
