dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
