I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
