we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize