i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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