Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
