i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
