Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
