I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
