Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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