There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
