dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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