white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
