FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
