covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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