It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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