it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
