Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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