she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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