I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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