last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
