Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i think my cat just said my name.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize