and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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