If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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