I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
