The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize