I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I had to cum in my sink.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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