at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
