My sheets look like a crime scene.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
