i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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