Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
