I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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