Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
