): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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