the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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