Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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