apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize