Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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