Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
