Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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