okay pat passed out under dana's car
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
