chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
