Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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