if you like me you must not know who I am
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
