So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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